He does not know
by TvdCastle
Summary: Beckett realizes that Castle knows her secret,but what HE does not know is that she has realized. She opens up to him and shows him that she cares and even loves him. Roles are reversed. Suggestions/Reviews are welcome, Genres 3- Drama/Romance COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - Crystal Clear**

**_The characters do not belong to me. Mr Marlowe is the creator here._**

It has been days since I have seen Rick. First I thought that he was just busy, he needed to do some writing because, well, he is always running from his ex wife, making excuses. What really got me worried was when his ex wife called, telling me that he went to Vegas with some 'Bimbo', at least that's what I would call her but to top it all up he told his ex wife that he was not getting any inspiration these days by working with me. What the hell happened that I suddenly changed from a muse to a distraction for him? I knew that it was something I had done, but I was trying hard to think about what changed his attitude towards me. He has always been the one person who helped in finding that tiny piece of the puzzle, that tiny detail that gave us the break through. I needed him to do the same this time too, with our relationship, or whatever it is that we have, but I knew that this time I will have to do that myself.

* * *

After 10 days I saw him enter the precinct. My heart beat suddenly rose I hate to admit it, but I was having butterflies in my stomach. The way he smiled, his blue eyes curving a little along with his lips, just made my day. I wanted to hug him, tell him I really missed him but communication had always been our weakness. I was all in awe of him, watching his every step until I noticed something that was more like a kick in the gut. He had no intentions of giving me our morning kiss, sorry, coffee. He just came near me and stood there awkwardly as if he would melt if he came any closer.

'Heyy Castle, how are you?' was all I was able to say.

Richard Castle just stood there staring at me trying to remember how to frame a sentence. 'Good' he said not asking about my well being. I just raised my eyebrow in confusion. 'Are you alright Rick' I asked and he simply responded with a 'never better' like he had done ten days ago, when he had vanished with that bimbo, never to be seen again.

I had to do something. I dragged him by his shirt collar, right into the interrogation room. I banged the door, switched off the audio and video camera and sat down, ordering him to sit down too. But he didn't.

'Okay Rick, speak. What's wrong?' I asked trying to keep my voice loud and steady, like the one I used on suspects.

'Why would you think something is wrong Kate? I am doing great, just came back from Vegas which was a wonderful change by the way'

'Oh yeah! Well I am sure you had fun with that girl, what's her name again, Oh yeah, JASSinda' I said, emphasising on a few words I needed him to hear.

'What's your problem anyway? Why would it matter to you?' he asked. Dammit, why he always asked such accurate questions.

'Well, because we are partners, friends, and now when we are getting close, you are pulling away' I could not help but say it.

'Well Kate, I cannot be your bestie and hang out with you, are you being deprived of Lanie or what?' he said and gave a sarcastic laugh.

'No I don't want THAT, I just want- you are not even bringing me coffee Castle' I said foolishly.

'Oh geez, I forgot, don't worry I'll make you some. Actually it is YOUR TRAUMA, which gets me every time'. With that, he just left me in the interrogation room.

Trauma, what was that supposed to mean? Then it struck me. In this same interrogation room I had spilled my secret to that kid. What if Castle was behind the glass? Oh no, the coffee on my desk when I came out. He was right THERE. What pain I had put him through? I wanted to play it safe but all I did was put matters in more danger. If I told him I had figured it out, he would never forgive me. How could he even forgive me? What I did was wrong. But I have to explain it to him, he won't listen now. His anger is fresh. Then it came to my mind what Dr Burke had said, 'Maybe the main problem is, what I didn't do for him'. Okay, it's done! I will show him I love him. I will fight for him like he did for me these past few years. I will make him feel that I am ready to be with him. God! I love him SO much. I would tell him the truth eventually but right now, I will make his hatred and anger turn into love and inspiration all over again. I will make my secret come out but will not let it break him again. I will not put him through the same thing twice. The key is 'He does not know I know he knows'.

* * *

**Hello guys, this is my first fan-fiction, the chapters that follow will focus on Beckett trying to make Castle feel that she loves him too. The roles are reversed. The ball is in Beckett's court so I want her to step up and make Castle feel extraordinary for a change. The next chapters will be sweet. If you like my idea, just leave a review about how I have done so far though I want to tell you all that this was a build up for the story to progress into its main plot. Those who have read it, do review and tell me whether I should proceed with this story or not. There is angst, but I may call it subtle angst and more of romance/friendship. ;) If you like it, I would update regularly. Let me know.**

_**(Some chapters will be from Beckett's POV and some if you want from Rick's POV)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - The Change**

_**The characters don't belong to me. Mr Marlowe is the creator. ;)**_

* * *

Yesterday was the day our little argument had taken place. Castle had just stormed out of the precinct and I had realized that it was entirely my fault. I needed to get things sorted out in my head therefore today, the first thing I did was – Visit my therapist. Though he told me to tell Rick the truth that 'I know he knows' and that I lied, I decided to let time wash his anger first. I had no hopes of seeing him for another ten days after yesterday but I was wrong. He really was unpredictable. There I was sitting in the car thinking about him; when suddenly my phone rang and the name on the screen gave me a tiny heart attack. 'Castle calling' it showed. I at once picked it up.

'Beckett? You driving?' he asked. It took a while for me to respond.

'Hey Castle, yes I am, but anyway...what's up?'

'Nothing, you were not here...so I was just wondering ...Why you were late...'It was nice to know that he still cared, I smiled at the thought but soon there came another sentence that wiped the smile off my face.

'Today seems to be a no-body day, so...I think I'll head out' Oh no, I had to stop him.

'No castle, there actually is some work, I am just reaching, will tell you once I am there..' and with that I kept the phone down. I did not want to tell him that by work I meant lots of paper work. I knew he would have left straight away if I had mentioned it. All these years I had found out the different ways to get rid of him, 'paper-work' was the best remedy to get rid of Richard Castle, but now I needed to find out what made him stay. I guess a cup of coffee would do the job.

* * *

With two cups of coffee in my hand, I slowly walked towards him. He was sitting in his usual spot, the chair next to my desk, which I guess was tailor made for him only. His head was bowed, and he was scribbling something on the little notepad of his. There he was sitting with his almost perfect hair and blue eyes, biting his lips like a little child as if it took a lot of effort to make simple English alphabets. Not disturbing him, I simply placed a cup of coffee in front of him, on the desk. He simply stared at the coffee with a **peculiar** **expression** on his face. I gently touched his shoulder for a few seconds before I sat down on my own chair, this time pulling the chair a little closer to his. Now his eyes were on me.

'You brought coffee...' he said, in a trance state, as if he was not able to arrive at the patent fact that 'I' brought coffee.

'Yes Castle, I was buying for myself and I figured you could use the warmth too' I stated simply.

He stared at me and then the coffee and then he picked it up and took a sip.

'Perfect' he said softly. I smiled, trying hard not to blush but he realized that he had said that out loud, therefore he changed the topic.

'So.. What work?' he asked curiously.

'Oh you mean paper work, yes, you need to do your share' I said, pointing at the piles of papers stacked next to my coffee.

'Ahh beckett, funny, you know I don't do-' He started but I cut him off.

'And you know why I want you to do it, I have a boring day today Rick, and doing paper work...with you, would make it a lot better' I said, it was more of a request for him to stay.

'Well, I don't have any meetings today, so I guess I can be my old funny self who does the entertaining' he said a little dryly.

I just gave him a smile, and he started scribbling on his notepad again. I just leaned over to see what he was doing, out of curiosity. I saw that he was writing a plan about the new Nikki Heat book – Frozen heat. Yes, it was a plan, and below it was his schedule for next week, meetings lined up, and there was also dinner plans with Alexis noted down. I always knew he was a loving father. Then I noticed that my hand was on his thighs, suddenly I started noticing the little-little things about him like – his forehead had a few strands of hair which made him look even more cute, his eyes were not blue exact, but ink blue with a little grey mixed and he smelled of grapes.

'You smell of grapes' I said, not realizing before it was out of my mouth. At last there was a little smile on his lips which he was trying hard to suppress. Our noses were just a finger space apart from each other when he said-

'Cherries...' He had told me many times I smelled of cherries. He did not complete the sentence but I knew, he still was the same Rick. Then walks Esposito coughing, holding a few more papers in his hand. As if trying not to laugh, he asks, 'Am I interrupting something'. This time I was not going to hide,

'Yes' I said

'No' He said

We simply stared at each other, this time Castle was staring at me with love in his eyes again, though a little confusion on his face. It was always me saying 'no' too, I guess that got to him.

'Are you alright Kate' He asked. I just nodded trying to seep in the fact that he called me Kate, well that was progress. Esposito just kept the papers down on my table indicating that the paper work pile had just increased, and he just nodded his head looked at the ceiling and walked away, trying not to burst out laughing. The roles had certainly reversed.

* * *

'So how is the new book going?' I asked after an hour of silence. It must have been hard for castle not to say a word for an hour I figured.

'It's good so far, adding new themes to it though, gotta give readers what they want you know' he said. I guess that was the longest sentence he had spoken so far.

'Well, I have full confidence on your wild imagination' I said, winking at him.

'Yeah, well I have to imagine every scene before I write it, that only makes the chapter perfect from my point of view' he said, enthusiastically because for a writer a chance to speak about writing was certainly his/her best conversation starter.

'Oh so you really do imagine steamy Nikki-Rook scenes' I said teasingly.

'No it's not that, I just have to feel and scrutinize every detail before I write it-' he said, though still not satisfied with the answer.

'Oh so you really feel it too!' I said, pressing hard, pursing my lips, trying not to laugh.

'Yes- No- ...I mean- ughh, I am such a fool' with that he just stared at the desk, with embarrassment. Oh my god! He was red.

'Aww Rick, you are not a fool, you are kind, caring, a loving father and I hate to say it but, cute...' There! I said it, though trying to keep it light I added '...and ruggedly handsome too' with a smile and a wink, I started looking at the desk too. I did not want him to see me blush.

'You know Kate, thank you...I was thinking, I mean you and I-' the way he started the sentence, it was more on a happy tone, there was no anger in his words. It was hopeful. But thanks to JASSinda, it was cut short. He hesitated to pick it up, that very fact made me even surer that the J girl was just a play toy. After a few minutes of talking with her, he just put the phone back in his pocket, looked at his watch and told me he had to head out, 'Got to go out...for dinner' was all he said. Thank god he did not use the word 'date'. That certainly was a change.

I wanted to stop him, but I had to give him a little space to work things out, I owed him that. I did not want him to go but I decided to let him go, just for this night, he was slowly coming back to his usual self and maybe in a day or two, I would be able to stop him, by that time I would at least have some authority over him. Right now I didn't. A change was on its way and I somehow knew that the change involved no Jacinda in it.

'Wear blue Rick, it would really bring out the colour of your eyes, it suits you' I said straightening the crease on his shirt, gently, and then I let him go.

He looked at me once again, before the elevator closed, and that's when I saw the longing look on his face, that was similar to the one on mine, and then his face had that same **peculiar expression** that had been there earlier. It was now easy to read, it was not anger, nor sadness, nor hatred, it was simply 'craving and admiration'.

* * *

_**So to all those who are reading this, do tell me whether you liked it so far or not. Suggestions are welcome, and to those who did leave me a review, I just want to say that this chapter was dedicated to you all, as reviews do help me to proceed. Trust me! And I promise I will update at least every alternate days or maybe regularly if I get time.**_

_**This chapter was a little challenging for me to write, because I had to show Kate's changed attitude towards Castle and I had to show Castle pulling away, but at the same time I had to show Castle warming up to Kate also now. I hope I did justice to it? Next chapter will be from Castle's POV as I said. How he is handling the situation especially Kate's changed attitude and then we will get the dealing with secrets and fluff part. Do not worry, nothing can keep our characters apart in my story, sometimes I feel I am failing too. ;) So you want me to continue with it?**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - She Cares**

_**These characters do not belong to me. AWM is the creator.**_

Last night, I had told Kate that I had to go out for dinner, right after Jacinda had called. I made it look like I was going out on a date with her, but the truth is, I was not. It was maybe I just wanted her to suffer through the same thing I went through. Even after going out on three dates with Jacinda, I was unable to bring myself to give her even a simple good-night kiss, just because it did not feel right. I figured that she knew something was wrong; therefore yesterday she had just called me up to tell me that she was leaving, going back to Vegas. I had to collect my Ferrari from the airport, which is why I left. Beckett was behaving differently yesterday, she was more open, and I kind of liked it. The truth is that I had not given up on her, I was not willing to let her go, not yet. Mother was right; I could not just turn off my feelings. But still I needed to see her. I had no intentions of giving her our morning coffee, but still I went to the precinct, not to talk to her but just to be near her.

* * *

The elevator door opened and the first thing to meet my eyes was Kate, sitting on her usual spot, lost in thoughts. Her hair like a cascade of brown water, framed her face perfectly, matching the colour of her eyes, they looked hazel in the natural lighting. One hand was supporting her face while the other was engaged in keeping the pen between her lips. The thing that caught my attention was that she was staring right at the chair next to the desk where usually I seated myself. I walked towards the chair and slowly seated myself down when suddenly she came back from her lost state, smiled brightly and said 'heyy Castle, I was just thinking about you'. Not telling her that I was thinking about her too, I simply said 'hi'. After a few minutes of silence and awkward side glances at one another, she finally said-

'I hate to break this news to you but, Castle, I am sorry...No one was murdered' that was dramatic and funny and I could not suppress my laughter.

'Well, New York has sadly become a safe place' I said, smiling at her.

She just rolled her eyes, nodded slightly and went back to whatever she was doing. I had actually missed her eye rolling a lot, not that I was going to tell her. For a moment there I had forgotten about her secret that had severely wounded me, but then the pain was back again. I took out my phone and started playing angry birds while she got up and came a moment later with two cups of coffee.

'Oh you shouldn't have' I said, though taking the glass. Actually I really wanted coffee and the 'shouldn't have' was just for formality sake.

'No, I wanted to, I still owe you 98 more' she said, winking at me. I couldn't believe she still remembered. She cared to remember what I had told her a while back, after she had made through a day of PTSD. I just took a sip and went back to the game.

'So you still having trouble with writing' she asked. Oh damn! My ex-wife. She must have told her about my writing problem and lack of inspiration.

'Yes, well, you know, ups and downs, I'll be writing in no time. It's just a phase.' I said, not meeting her eyes.

'Oh, I thought...never mind, I just wanted to give you something I thought would help you to write?' she said. Wait a minute, was she asking for my permission. When did that happen? Though a little confused about her intentions, I still said 'Sure'.

She took out a yellow envelope and handed it over to me. I took it from her hand, our fingers gently brushing, though I tried to ignore the heat that passed through me just by merely touching her. I took it and not waiting a second to guess what it was, I opened it. Yes I was curious.

There was a note that said:** "_To Richard Castle, when he was just a 14 year old Richard Rodgers - People may let you down, but talent doesn't''_**And there it was a cutting from the literary magazine. My first story that I had submitted and was published. I had certificates framed in my office of my failures and achievements and only this cutting was missing from them. I was unable to even find words to express my happiness.

'I hope it helps' was all she said, and she went back to her paper work.

'Kate- this is amazing, I mean, I am speechless, Thank you, really...thanks a lot.' Was all I was able to say. I was so overcome by emotions. I had two wives and trust me, they gave quite expensive gifts, but somehow Kate's gift was so easily able to touch my heart. It's true, after all not the price, but the feeling it is that matters.

'How did you manage to find it?' I asked, not able to control myself.

'...Magic..' was all she said, and once again she gave me that dazzling smile which made my heart do a lap dance.

'I thought you did not believe in magic?' I asked. A while back, she had told me she didn't. 'What caused that sudden **change**?' I asked, raising an eyebrow.

'A wise man once told me that if I do not believe in even the possibility of magic, I will never find it' she said simply. Oh god! Was she planning to kill me? I just wanted to kiss her. She knew how to talk in verse, and by what she said, I was able to figure out that the **change** was no one else but me.

'I must say, the man is quite wise' I said smiling at her.

'He is extraordinary' was all she said. She was the same Kate. The one I had fallen in love with and now I was sure of that. I just simply stared at her as she finished her paper work, just like old times. I did not need to find inspiration any more; it was right in front of me.

* * *

Time literally flew today and as much as I wanted to stay, I had to leave. Alexis was waiting for me. We had to decide on universities. I stood up to wear my coat, when Kate suddenly got up too.

'Heyy, I got to go, Alexis must be waiting' I said, wearing my coat.

'So, no date with Jacinda?' she asked. I could make out that she was relieved.

'Oh no! She went back to Vegas today, morning' I quickly added. Not telling her what really had happened. I thought maybe I should wait for 10 months more to tell her. Or maybe never. But what happened today, made me realize that she still cared. She may not realize that she loves me, but somewhere deep down I know she does. Jacinda was a catalyst just to make her show her emotions and it worked.

'That's gre-' she said, quickly changing it to 'sad'.

'Heart breaking' I said, winking at her and then I started to walk towards the elevator.

'Rick! Can I take you out tomorrow for dinner' she asked. Was 'she' asking 'me' out on a date?

'A date?' I asked foolishly.

'Yes, I mean no...I just wanted you to come with me to this one place, it truly is magical' she said, trying hard to take out a yes from me.

'Well, I can't, I got to go-' I started. I was not ready to just go out on a date with her when she had lied to me. I was still angry with her but maybe I could talk things out tomorrow and clear the air.

'Okay! Pick you up at 8?' I asked, not sure whether I was doing the right thing.

'No actually, it's a casual thing, I don't want to push you, we can go on a proper one some other time. I will pick you at 8' she said now blushing a little. Well, she had just given me a hint that she was ready to go out with me, and honestly, under different circumstances I would have asked her right away for 'day after' since tomorrow was already fixed. But I simply nodded gave her a smile and started walking again.

'Until tomorrow Rick' she said hopefully.

'Night Kate' I said, a little optimistically.

We were going out on a casual outing tomorrow at 8. She was picking me up, and I had agreed to it. Today's events just showed me she cares, maybe even loves me. Maybe I misinterpreted her. Maybe she had a solid reason, not to tell me that she remembered. All I knew now was that I was willing to give her a chance to explain herself. Katherine Beckett would have had a proper reason to lie to me and I was going to eventually ask her now. I did not want to take steps in a hurry and mess up what we now have, which is more precious than what we had two days ago. We both care now, we both are ready, and hopefully we 'both' are still in love. What I learned is that, two days can change a lot. **The wound is still there but the sting is gone and it just needs healing.**

* * *

_**So to all those who are reading this, do tell me whether you liked it so far or not. Suggestions are welcome, and to those who did leave me a review, I just want to say that this chapter was dedicated to you all, as reviews do help me to proceed. Trust me! And I promise I will update at least every alternate days or maybe regularly if I get time. Also you can tell me want you want in the next few chapters!**_

_**So the next chapter I think will be from Kate's POV as she has made the plan to take him out on a casual outing. I am going to start getting things sorted out too as it seems both are ready! I think they should be honest with each other before taking the 'big step' and I am trying hard to keep the angst low, because this story is supposed to be basically Friendship/Romance with a little angst. I am trying to get the secrets out with them NOT yelling at each other but understanding each other. Just have to get them ready! Tell me what you want in the next chapters that follow and tell me did you like this chapter from Castle's POV? I hope you liked this chapter and should I continue?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Casual Outing = Date**

**To those who were waiting for an update, I am sorry for being 2 days late. To make up for it, this chapter will be a LONG one and more romantic/sweet. **

_**The characters do not belong to me, AWM is the creator.**_

* * *

I had asked him out on a 'casual' outing yesterday but still I was having this urge to look good. I wanted to wear nothing very casual and I could not even go for anything formal since it was a 'casual' date and he would be in his casuals therefore I went for something **semi-formal**. After an hour of ransacking the cupboard, I found the perfect semi-formal outfit - a white tea-length (hitting at the calf) skirt paired with a black, beaded corset top. I wore 6-inch heeled black shoes to compliment the outfit (Yes, I am fond of heels). I decided to go for an updo hairstyle with bangs, which balanced my overall look perfectly. To keep it semi-formal, I did very mild make up, basically just highlighting my eyes with mascara and eye liner and a light pink lip gloss, just making my lips look shiny and more pink than usual. I did not need a blusher; I knew it would come naturally. I hoped that the place I had picked would be able to meet his expectations since I had told him it was supposed to be 'magical' to get him to come. I hoped at least my appearance would make up for the place, if he did not like it. For our first date, sorry, outing, I had to pick him up at 8, hence I left my place around 7:30 pm in case of traffic. Damn, I was excited and nervous too.

* * *

I rang the doorbell, and before I could even remove my fingers from the switch, he opened the door, as if he was right there waiting for me to arrive. Oh my god! He decided to go for **semi-formal** too, NOT casual. He was wearing an INK BLUE buttoned-down collar shirt, pin striped, not going for a very loud pattern. He wore black cashmere suit and matching trousers with it. He had truly added style to his outfit with a neatly folded pocket square and a set of cuff links. He was wearing simple leather slip-ons which gave him a polished look. Man! He looked gorgeous. His hair was as usual perfect, with few strands of hair on his fore-head. They were silky and I just wanted to move my fingers through them. His eyes were somehow looking even bluer today, if that's possible.

He gave me a small hug, our bodies touching for a few seconds. My heart skipped a beat at that very moment. Oh! He smelled good. I just did not want to let him go when he hugged me, and he was the one to break the hug this time. Of course we could not just stand there, with arms around each other...on second thoughts, we actually could.

'Casual hunh?' he said after embracing me in a warm hug.

'Well, you look at yourself first mister' I said, adding a little more sweetness in my voice than intended.

After a few seconds of looking at each other from head to toe, we said in unison something that was supposed to be a compliment but sounded more like- 'You look gorgeous Kate-Rick'. Damn! We were again in sync, both using the word 'gorgeous'. But still, that was awkward and we just gave each other a smile that made it all okay.

'You look beautiful' he said. I loved that he chose the word beautiful. My mother always said that 'beautiful' is used for a person who is not only attractive, but also amazing inside out.

'You too Castle' I said. Though it may sound awkward, using 'beautiful' to describe a male, but he was gorgeous looking as well as a wonderful and caring person. He actually knew what I was thinking , well, he was a writer, someone having a way with words; therefore he just accepted the compliment with a dazzling smile and did not decide to tease me on this one. After a few seconds of silence, he took out a small snake-skin brown leather **box**, cushioned and soft, and gave it to me. I wondered what was inside it when the box only looked so attractive. I was sure the box itself would have cost a lot.

I took it from his hand and I was about to open it, when he gently touched my fingers, and whispered in my ears 'Open it when you are in your apartment'. There must have been a reason why he said it, so not thinking too much about it, I just nodded.

'Shall we?' he said bringing his hand forward as if asking me for a dance. I decided to keep that thought out of my mind for now. Linking arms did not seem relevant for a casual outing, but who were we kidding? We both knew that it was now more than that so he just linked his **hand** with mine, slowly filling the gaps between my fingers and we walked towards the elevator. The hand holding had given me goose bumps. I just resisted the urge to kiss him but I did not think I would be able to control it by the end.

* * *

'Where are we going?' he asked me, while 'I' was driving.

'We are going to a good place Castle, though I am not sure you'll like it' I said, a little worried.

'Oh if you like it then sure I will too' he said, confidently. Though this statement reduced the little confidence I had in myself.

'I don't know...' I just said, furrowing my eyebrows for a second. He as though sensing my tension, placed his left hand on my thigh, slowly moving it vertically, up and down. The heat of his palm slowly spreading through my body and I had to control myself not to think, what this could lead to. It had helped in bringing the tension down but it certainly did not help at all with the driving.

'Castle, I hate to say it, but I kind of cannot focus on driving' I said, a little shyly.

'Oh' he said looking at his hand and quickly moving it to his knee, he uttered a 'sorry'. He then gave me one of his goofy smiles, and said 'makes you want me right?' But I just ignored it with the usual eye roll accompanied with a nod but this time I did that because the answer would have been a **yes**.

At last we reached the place and I parked the car just before a board that said – 'Welcome to the Castilian'

Castle read the board at once and said- 'they stole it from me, I was going to name my bar that!'

'Come on Castle! Old haunt is great, and you had decided to name it The Ego, otherwise' I said, smirking at him

'Well, I did not know you wanted to bring me to a place, with a name I liked' he said, winking at me. Was he flirting? That was just a question, I WAS NOT complaining.

'Isn't it 'magical'?' I said raising both my eyebrows flirtingly too before I left the car.

* * *

As soon as we entered, we were led to our seats. I had made reservations. The owner was a fan of Castle too, though I was not going to tell him that. Well, being with a bestselling writer had its perks. The place was very elegantly done up. It was neither too fancy nor very plain. It was rich. It was a good sized place with chairs and tables mostly along the walls; every table was separated with golden bead string curtains, giving full privacy. In the centre was a lifted circular platform with a black glossy piano placed right in the centre. A professional pianist was playing romantic and soothing numbers. He had 'magic' in his hands and had filled the place with tunes that made you feel optimistic about everything. Yes the place had an intimate setting. I wanted to take Castle to a place that was intimate but at the same time, not very intimate. It was not crowded but every table was occupied with mostly couples sitting together, flirting and toasting to new beginnings. This may give us a chance to start something true and real too.

The manager herself came to take our order. We had already decided what we wanted. We started out with the mustard miso pickles, a selection of 3 meats and a cheese flight with 3 cheeses. The pickles weren't pickles at all, at least in the traditional sense. They were pickled vegetables, so there were carrots, green beans, etc with a pickled egg. It was delicious and unexpected. We wanted to have healthy starters.

'A drink for the young couple?' the manager asked.

'Oh we are not-' Castle started but I cut him off by saying 'Actually we-'... but we were both cut off by the lady herself when she asked 'you both not a couple?' confusingly and shockingly.

'Not yet' we both said together exchanging smiles, with me blushing and castle amazed with the change that I said 'not yet', startling the lady, who just smiled and took out a pen to take our drinks order.

We both went for wine, keeping it light, as I did not want my drunk self to say something that shouldn't be said. At least not yet. Nor did castle. We both went for white wine.

For main course they put together a cheese flight based on what we liked. They also paired the cheeses with foods that would compliment it, which was really fun...like the meat flight, the cheese flights came with wheat and white bread. We both loved cheese, though fattening but truly exceptional. The meat selection was excellent too. We traded with one another but not taking it directly from each other's plates. Instead, we placed it on the other's plate with our own respective fork. It was a little cliché, feeding each other with forks on the first date, therefore we both decided to save it for some other time.

'The food... it truly is magical, but what got me was that how did you know it was magical when you yourself are coming here for the first time?' he asked, waiting for my reply.

'It's magical because you are here with me' I said easily, not even waiting a second to think. It was true; Richard Castle was the one who had filled magic in my life. I was not going to pull away this time. I wanted to be honest with him at least when it came to my feelings for him and I had decided to tell him the truth tomorrow by going to his loft. I did not want to mess this outing of ours, so I did not take the conversation to sensitive areas.

He was clearly taken aback by my answer therefore he just took my hands into his and squeezed it. We were soon staring into each other's eyes, with love and longing. We were lost. A glow was spreading across my face and on his too, our hearts were racing at the same pace, we were breathing softly and simultaneously, his fingers were moving clock wise on the back of my hand and we were so caught up in the moment that we ignored the manager until she cleared her throat asking for our dessert order. I hated her for interrupting; giving her a sharp look and Castle also pursed his lips and pouted as though controlling himself from saying something inappropriate, which was kind of cute.

'No thanks' I said. We skipped the deserts. We were too full. Castle taking the initiative to pay the bill, got his credit card out at the presence of the bill. I did not argue, I knew it was a waste, loss of time and energy. Energy which could be used to do something productive. (Don't take it in the wrong sense, my intentions were pure...I guess). Along with signing the card slip, Castle also signed a blank paper which said 'To Emma, *his autograph*.

'Fame does not leave you alone' I said, smiling at him. Today, I smiled a lot. After every comment, I smiled. I couldn't help myself.

'Hah! So does **inspiration**' he said doing a dance with both his eyebrows. God! He was witty.

'Well, it never will' I said, AGAIN smiling. He seemed to understand the double meaning behind it. We actually spoke that way only, mostly. It was all double meaning or subtext. But what that actually meant was that I was NEVER going to leave him.** Me, his inspiration.**

* * *

On the way back 'I' let 'him' drive. He was surprised, but he jumped at the opportunity, without any further questions before I changed my mind, which, honestly I had no intentions to do.

'Well, that was an amazing dinner, all thanks to you' he said, turning the steering wheel towards the right.

'I am glad, we made through our first dat-outing without too much teasing. You were a gentleman' I said, unable to stop myself.

'I guess then I need to work on my Big Child personality more' he said jokingly.

'I guess it has got rusted over time, Rick' I said, not holding back.

'Well, I just came back from the future, I was telling ya, time-travel causes rust' he said making me remember the famous case that involved *time ripple*. Aah, it still sounded dirty.

'Well, here is the Man child again' I said, giving him another eye roll, to which he had become immune, I guess, as he got it too often. I so wanted to lean in and give him a kiss.

'Old habbits never go' he said, now smirking. Here we were, the car stopped before his loft, he got out, went round the front of the car and opened the door for me.

'Thank you' I said realizing that I had to go on the other side and drive myself home.

'I really enjoyed myself, Kate' he said, once again giving me a hug.

'Me too...hey listen! Can I come tomorrow night to your place, gotta tell you something important...' I guess he knew what I meant and he simply nodded.

'Absolutely...actually I wanted to have a talk with you too, you know, sort things out...' was all he said before I gave him a peck on his cheek. I could not control myself. Though I wanted more but I resisted.

As I was heading towards the car, he caught my hand, pulled me closer and kissed me, this time passionately. Our lips collided and slowly I gave his tongue access through between my lips, into my mouth. I moved my tongue along the corners of his mouth, and then our tongues collided too. He tasted of wine, white wine, which was delicious by the way. (The wine...) Then slowly I kissed his upper lip while he kissed my lower. There, I was reminded of our first undercover kiss, but this was a hundred times more passionate. It was as though we were trying to cure all the damages and pain we had caused each other through this one kiss. One long kiss... We were literally trying to kiss away all the pain and lick away all those wounds that still ached. At last we parted, gasping for breath. Before even realizing what had happened he said-

'Until tomorrow Detective' and headed towards the building. My gaze followed him until he was totally out of view. I was SO in a trance that I was only able to respond a few minutes later.

'Tomorrow... until' was all I was able to say, with a feeble voice, touching my lips where he had just kissed me.

Richard Castle had just given me a kiss and it was worth going through all the troubles and pain we had inflicted on each other. The outing was a date, the date was a success and the major reason of success was the kiss. We were going to talk to each other tomorrow, maybe work things out. I was going to be honest with him. I wanted him, whole of him, with no lies and no deceptions. I knew that he was the man I was never going to leave, no matter what happened and indirectly I had told him this today. I just wanted to go home and open that leather** box** that he had gifted me. I wondered what it contained, maybe tomorrow I could tell him I loved the gift, though I did not know what it was but I knew it was 'his' gift, the one person whom I loved. I did not want to think about what was going to happen tomorrow, whether it would make us or break us. I actually did not think of tomorrow because right now, I was again and again playing that kiss in my mind. It was on a repeat mode and I could just not switch my mind off from thinking about it. Why even think of tomorrow when I had the kiss to keep me going.

'**Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.'**

* * *

**So, from angst to warming up to loving each other to kissing, I guess I showed the 4 stages till now in these 4 chapters! What do you think? **

**Thank you SO much for the reviews. Those who liked it but did not review, please do, that would certainly help me in writing. I don't want to rush things, I want them to get closer and closer with each chapter, not just jump into bed. Those of you that want this too, please do tell me whether you are liking the way I am progressing. Please do, and to those who did review, this chapter was dedicated to you all! Seriously! Thank you :D Those who do not have an account, you can tell me too whether you liked it so, just click the review button- down, in the middle.**

**What next****:- **

**Okay, so next chapter will be sorting things out a little, as you know, the Castle loft scene, and them talking about their feelings is never easy. But I am not going to make it that angsty, it will be sweet. Oh! And the box that Castle gave Beckett, what it contains, I will tell you in the next chapter. I must say, that it is something VERY thoughtful, at least I think. Suggestions are welcome and I may even end up following it, you never know. So, want me to continue? Did you like the 'Casual turned Semi-formal, Outing turned date? I hope I did justice to it, I wanted it to be both formal and casual. Do tell me also what you liked so far! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Three Possessions**

**This chapter has fluff/romance and of course 'the gift'. A great revelation is on its way for the next chapter, so stay in tune. Here is a sweet chapter just for you all before the tough part. The gift here is something I wanted ****Castle** to be thoughtful of, considering her gift in chapter 3 and I really want it to happen on the show, maybe later. Just see and let me know? Thanks :) And also there is this one character more that will be there for just a few minutes ;)

_**The characters do not belong to me. AWM is the creator.**_

* * *

The way he caught my hand, pulled me towards himself and planted the most passionate kiss anyone had ever given me, had made me love him even more. The moment I reached my apartment, I quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, took down the makeup and huddle up on my cosy little bed along with the little leather box in my hand. He had told me to open it in my apartment and so I did. I opened the leather flap slowly. My eyes widened when I saw it. There it was, a pure gold chain, shining **brightly** when I lifted it. In the middle, instead of a pendant, there was a **diamond studded loop** which could open from one side, it was supposed to support ''something''. Oh god, it was shimmering even in the lamp light. It must have cost him a lot, but I really loved his taste. Gold, a symbol of health and happiness and the best way to start a new chapter in our lives. There even was a folded paper...a note. It said:-

**'This chain will even make the darkest memories look brighter' – RC**

After reading the note, my eyes filled with tears. I could not help it, but a tear trickled down my cheek. The diamond studded loop was supposed to support my darkest memory. It was supposed to remove the darkness from it, filling it with shine,** brightness** and happiness. In plain words, it was supposed to support my mother's ring, my darkest memory. 'Oh Rick...' I whispered to myself. He was the 'man' I loved. That was SO thoughtful of him, the gift...and even the fact that he gave me a warning when I had picked him up. He knew me so well. He knew I would get teary and start sobbing. Here was a new addition to my** possessions-**

'A **ring**' – Reminding me of the life I lost.

'The **chain** supporting the ring' – Reminding me of the life I have, making the dark memories fade away.

'The **watch**' – Reminding me of the life I had saved, my dad's.

**Three possessions** and the three people I loved more than life itself. Who knew that Castle would make the list, but anyway, he did.

I at once took out the ring from the drawer and replaced the worn out chain with this new glittering gold one. It was shining more than the ring, attracting more attention. I guess it was a sign to start focusing more on the present not living in the past. It was time to let go. I wound the chain gently around my neck, with the diamond loop supporting the ring, placed safely right in the middle. The chain actually added glow to my face and made my eyes look a little golden too. Though I guess, not the chain but Castle was the reason behind the glow.

That night I slept with the chain around my neck. I had no intentions of parting from it. Not the ring, but the **chain**. Tomorrow, was a big day, big decisions had to be made which would ultimately determine the future we can have.

* * *

The previous night I had the sweetest dream I had ever dreamt. Okay, I admit it, I had dreamt of him. I was still not over the gift and I just wanted to see him. I reached his place next day, **wearing the chain** at 8:00 pm sharp, not even a minute late and rang the door bell. The minute he opened the door, I pushed him towards the door frame, placing both my hands on his chest, I leaned up and gave him a kiss, actually a series of kisses. I started biting at his upper lip and slowly slid my tongue into his mouth. He was a little dazed and hesitant for a while but then he wrapped his hands around me, slowly moving them towards my waist and pulled me closer to himself, against his chest. He now started biting my upper lip while I moved my tongue even deeper, exploring his mouth. If it wasn't for the shortness of breath, I swear, nothing could have broken us apart. If we had the ability to hold our breath for an hour, **'I'** would have spent it kissing him. He tasted of mint and smelled of chocolate today...so inviting, how could I resist? After we parted, he looked at me, with a questioning look on his face.

'Richard Castle how do you manage to do it every time?' I asked, not removing my hand from his chest.

'Ughh...What?' he asked, still a little in trance but I couldn't blame the guy. He just got kissed by a woman who had rung the door bell. He had not even seen my face properly. He did NOT see that coming, unless everyone who rings the bell just pounces on him, engaging him in a passionate and forceful kiss. I decided to keep that thought out of my mind. He is supposed to be...mine.

'Rick...The gift! How do you manage to give me the most meaningful gifts? How do you manage to make me cry? AND how do you manage to make me lov... Care for you so much?' I asked, walking towards his study room now.

He simply followed me and said from behind 'Ditto... how YOU do it'. God! He was such a charmer.

There in his study room, I saw the cutting I had given him, framed. He had already got it framed and below it, the envelope was framed too, with my writing on it. Oh! the small note I had given him.

'Dad, I am heading out...going out with friends'. I turned around and saw Alexis, who was all dressed up, going out.

'Oh hello Detective Beckett...' She said, as she lifted her head from her mobile phone and saw me.

'Heyy Alexis' was all I was able to say. Lately, we hadn't spoken much and I had decided to make up to her too, once I was done with making out...ughh...making **up** to her father.

She looked straight at Castle, who I guess had not told her about me coming over. 'Ahmm... Alexis... don't do anything that I won't do while you are out' he said, now moving towards her.

'Dad! Is that a permission? Cause you practically did... I don't know what ALL at my age' she said, trying not to smile at her father. Castle just mouthed the word 'lie' to me while he gave his daughter a kiss on her forehead.

'Right...don't be late pumpkin...no more than 12' he called out as his daughter headed towards the door.

'Dad, I'll be back by 11' was all she said as she closed the door behind her, giving him a smile before she was gone.

'She is a great kid' I said, when we were left alone again.

'The best...I don't know what I will do when she is gone...' was all he said, with a broken voice. I did not know what to say to make him feel better. This stage comes in everyone's life, you just cannot skip it.

After a few minutes he broke the silence and seating himself down on the couch, he asked me 'So what did you want to tell me?'

Oh yes, the reason why I was here. The place where everything was going to go down. I had completely forgotten about it. There was no turning back now, he was not angry and he was willing to listen, that was what I had wanted right? I had succeeded in calming him down but I did not know what I would do if it went wrong. Lanie had told me to give it a shot at least, even if it didn't work out, at least I would be satisfied with myself that I tried. If by chance it worked out, then it was going to be the best thing that had ever, until now happened to me. It will be the beginning of the next chapter in our lives. But the point was – It could be the best thing for us or the worst.

'Kate?' he asked. I had got so caught up in my thoughts that I had completely forgotten that Rick was waiting for my answer.

'I got to tell you something...important, don't hate me' I said in a pleading voice.

'That could never happen; still...I am listening... ' he said, asking me to proceed. He knew very well where I was taking this, and once again I saw that fire in his eyes, that had been there a few days back when I was not that open with him, when he was angry and mad at me. The fire was still there, it was mild but I was now heading towards oiling it. He was staring right at me, waiting for me to finish what was left unfinished. Those eyes made me question my decision of dragging it for SO long. Even though we had kissed twice in these 5 days, we had not till now spoken about the kiss. He had a chance to invite me to his place yesterday to spend the night, but he had just left after kissing me. Did I complicate things even more? I was not sure now. Maybe my therapist was right... I should have told him that I remembered. I feared that I was not keeping just one secret now, but two. **One had given way to another**. Did that mean the anger would multiply too?

'Rick...I remember everything that happened the day I was shot' and with that I waited for his reaction.

* * *

**Important to remember for the coming chapters:-**

******So, the first few chapters, the romance and fluff, though you all I hope enjoyed it, but it was also a base that I wanted, on which so that I could put more complications like - Not one, but TWO secrets. I also wanted to show no reaction on Castle's part AFTER the two kisses, and if you notice - I actually haven't mentioned his reaction to both of them, this chapter kiss as well as the previous chapter kiss. It was only him giving the kiss (in chapter 4) in the heat of the moment and then walking away, and kissing her back (in this chapter) because she initiated it, he was in trance and earlier he was dazed and hesitant. ;) I hope I got that right?  
**

**What next:-**

**Since its reaching the big secret coming out part, please forgive the angst in the next chapter, it will not be very angsty though. Even though they are right now in good terms, hugging and kissing, the chapter will be focusing on the main problem- Secrets. Castle is still hurting and what will his reaction be after he comes to know that Beckett did not come straight to him after she had realized that he knew she had heard him the day she was shot- will also be dealt with, and lying about the 'I love you' part that happened the day she was shot is there too, basically her MAIN secret that gave way to ANOTHER secret.**

* * *

_******General things/I write you review:-**_

_**********Thank you for the reviews guys. I just wanted castle's gift to become one of the things Kate never leaves home without. I actually want something like this to happen in the show. I think Castle in now in a position to make the list, along with her parents. I also added Alexis in this chapter, did I get the conversation between her Castle and Beckett right?...I hope I did. More reviews do help you in getting everything right and coming up with better stuff. So just click it and tell me how you are finding the story so far? I continue? :) ****Those who do not have an account, you can tell me too whether you liked it, so, just click the review button- down, in the middle. Right ;) **_

**************Btw - I will try updating every alternate day or at least thrice a weak. :) **

**I guess I managed to give you a lot of romance and fluff so far right? Stay with me for the next chapters and I will try to do justice to them. **

**(The next chapter will be from Castle's POV, well... because its 'his' reaction to her secret which is the main focus here and MAYBE some from Kate's, I don't know, haven't written it yet, waiting for your reviews and reaction :P)**

**''Things will get tough before they get really nice, so hang in there'' - This line is for the next chapters as well as the show ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Hurt**

_**The characters do not belong to me; AWM is the creator here.**_

I had kissed her that night in the heat of the moment, it seemed right then but it felt wrong now. I had given her a gift, the chain, to show her that no matter what would happen between us in my loft, I would always be there for her when she needed me. I would do all I can to protect her. Though she kissed me the moment I opened the door, I did not show her that not only she was craving for me, but so was I for her. It was time to be honest, no time for play and though I knew somewhere deep down she loved me, I was still not sure until it was out of her mouth. I wanted to hear it out loud. Maybe the thought of her being embarrassed and keeping it a secret was still troubling me. We needed to clear the air, I knew that we could no longer pretend and carry on with our lives without talking. It was time to put all the cards on the table and so we did.

* * *

Though I knew where the conversation was leading, I pretended to be okay because I was a step ahead, she did not know that I already knew that she remembered, at least that was what I thought.

'Rick...I remember everything that happened the day I was shot' she said, waiting for my reaction. The pain was back; she remembered and did not tell me. It was not about reciprocating my feelings, it was about lying. A woman, who had once inspired me, had lied to me. I just sat there thinking of all those things I had wanted to say to her that day when she lay on the ground with a bullet in her chest, I knew she was in shortage of time, therefore I had bottled up all my feelings just in three words- 'I love you' and had spilled it out before she passed out. If I had said something more to her along with the 'I love you' that day, would she have taken another 10 months to come clean with me?

'Rick...please...just say something...anything...' she said, in a low and pleading voice. I just stared at her, with absolutely no reaction on my face. From where should I start? I was looking right through her, taking no notice of her beautiful, pleading eyes this time.

'What should I say?...I loved a woman who was shot 10 months ago, I told her I loved her only to know later that she did not remember anything from that day. I had watched the life drain out of her, I was willing to wait for her, help her, comfort her, only to know that she did not want to see me for three months, she had to call me but she never did...do nudge me if I miss a key point...she came back to me but not to meet me but for the files about a past case she was not willing to let go...I got to know a few days ago that she remembered...remembered the man who had poured out his heart, opened it whole up just for her, but she just wanted to forget it all...for her nothing had happened, everything was normal...for her, the man's feeling did not matter at all...what do you want me to say Kate? That the man was blind? He was so blinded by his love for her that he just did not see it that she would never be ready?' I said, wiping my eyes, before a tear dropped from them. They were watery but I did not want to cry, not now.

'Oh Rick...I am so sorry...it was never about the case files...I wanted to see you but just needed a push, the files were just a catalyst to bring me to you... I just wanted sometime away, with Captain Montgomery's death... I just needed to heal...I had no intentions of hurting you...' she said, this time I saw a tear trickling down her cheek but I did not move to wipe it. I just sat there on the couch, looking down, gaining the strength to say a few more words.

'But anyway you DID hurt me Kate...' I said now, standing and facing her.

'It was not only you who had lost Montgomery that day, he was my friend too, and Ryan, Esposito, Lanie...we all had lost him that day' I said, not holding back.

'It's not only you Kate, who was hurting, all of us were...we went through it, like a team...not individually, that is called being friends...but I cannot blame you, I don't know actually what we are!' I said now, looking straight in her eyes, searching for answers.

'Rick, we are a hell more than friends, we are partners...we are...' she started but I cut her off.

'Oh partners!' I said, giving a sarcastic laugh...'Yeah actually, I like that... when nothing else fits, say that we are partners!'

'Even if we ARE partners... do you thing Ryan and Esposito lie like that?' I said, asking her to explain it a little better to me.

'Rick...I didn't want to just jump into a relationship at that point! I was broken Rick and I wanted to make myself all ready for you, for us, for our future...' she said, trying to tell me that she had best intentions in mind.

'You know Kate...you could have told me, I wouldn't have pushed you...I would have waited a lifetime for you' I said, walking towards her, a little closer.

'I couldn't have asked you to do that...' She said.

'Okay, so what you are telling me is that the conversation we had at the swings was not a sign for me to wait...God! I feel like such a fool!' I yelled, not getting what she was trying to say.

'I don't mean that Rick, you are not even trying to understand what I am saying, in the same context I could ask you that if you loved me so much, if you knew that it was **you** I meant at the swings and I wanted **you** to wait for me...then how could you even doubt my feelings? Wasn't that a sure sign that I was making myself ready for YOU by making YOU wait?' She asked. That is when I realized that she was not hurting as much as I but she still was.

'Waiting I could have done that...but lying? Why?' I asked, forcing her to admit her feelings, loud and clear.

'I wasn't ready Rick, I wanted our relationship to be real, lasting and how could that have happened when I was shattered and broken?' she asked me, moving her one hand through her hair, trying to stable her mind.

'I could have fixed you...you should have trusted me, I trust you every day with my life...I wanted you to do the same Kate...' I said now, unable to stop a tear from falling down as I blinked my eyelashes. 'I would have fixed you...' I said again, turning, showing my back to her, as I wiped the tears. I did not want her to see me cry.

'Aww... Rick, I knew you loved me and that was all that mattered...that's why I decided to fight for you, show you that I felt strongly for you...I knew how heartbroken my secret had made you...' she said, nodding her head and looking down, I guess, cursing herself for hurting me like this.

'You knew?... Wait...what?...' I said, turning, facing her again.

'Yes Rick...I had realized that you were hurt, I just wanted you to know that your feelings had been reciprocated, I wanted to calm you down before we spoke about this...I had figured it out that you knew my secret...through our coffee...The coffee, you had brought me that day I was interrogating that boy, I had realized that you were there... Behind the glass...' she said, sounding more miserable than before now.

'Damn, you really know how to boss men around; it took Jacinda and my distant attitude for you to open up? Whoaa...well done!' I said, clapping my hands sarcastically, as I walked towards her and sat on the couch again just staring at her now.

'So Kate Beckett really knows how to play with a guys emotions...' I said, waiting for her to say something that would make the load a little lighter. The situation had become unbearable.

She walked towards me and kneeled down right before me, placing both her hands on my mine. 'It wasn't me playing with emotions, it was me trying to build something that would last, that would just not get washed away or flown away like a sand castle...I wanted something permanent with you, I don't want a sand castle, I want you...Richard Castle...I love you...it's true, you are my Castle...you are something permanent to me!' she said, now closing her eyes, seeping in the realization that she had just said 'I love you' at last to the man she loved.

'I wasn't ready then, but I am ready now... I love you Rick...I really do!' she said, giving me a little smile, though the fear of being rejected was still there on her face. I looked into her eyes, flowing with love and affection. It was a big thing for her to say those three words but what I needed right now was time to figure out what exactly I wanted, the scar was not hurting, but it was still there. Though scars do fade away, but with time.

'Kate, I know you didn't mean to hurt me, I am sorry for doubting your feelings, actually the truth is, I never doubted your feelings Kate... It was the lie that made me angry, you inspired me, you were extraordinary, the problem was that I used to see you as someone who was just so damn! perfect, someone whom I could trust, someone who would always be there and never lie...but what I didn't realize is that no one is perfect...I just need some time to figure out what I want now...' I said, trying to show her that there was still some hope left. I squeezed her fingers but she pulled away now.

'How much time Rick?' she asked, the tears were now flowing in incessant stream from her eyes. I could not control myself and kissed her forehead, to show her that it was not over, we were not over, just what we needed was time.

'Time heals all wounds Kate, I gave you time...I just want you to be patient with me now...I just need to process a few things...I would come to the precinct if I do, it's just that I don't know if you still are the same woman I fell in love with, I don't know whether my feelings towards you have changed or not...' I said, trying to change my sad expression and be a little more optimistic, but it was hard to do. After not just one but two secrets that she had kept from me, I didn't know what else to say. I just wanted to clear my head.

'How could they change...?' she said in a soft voice but did not decide to argue further. She got up and started moving towards the door. Before leaving she turned one last time and I saw that there was still hope in her eyes. 'I hope you show up tomorrow at the precinct Rick, if you don't, just remember that it wasn't me, but you who didn't want to take a chance...' was all she said, as the door closed behind her and I was left alone in the loft.

I just walked towards the door, staring at the plain brown, wooden door for a few seconds, controlling myself from following her. She had been crying and so was I now. I could not help but lean against that same door, running my fingers through my hair but I slowly sank down and in no time, tears flooded my eyes. That is when my eyes moved around and fixed at the high table placed next to the door. There was a brightly shining chain kept on it, with a diamond studded loop holding a beautiful ring. It was Kate's. She had left it in the hope that I would bring it back to her when I visited the precinct. How could she know before hand that I would be visiting her there? Actually she didn't, she knew that if even I decided **against** meeting her, I would anyway have to return the chain to her because she was sure that I wouldn't be able to control myself from returning the chain as I still cared about her and also as I knew how much it meant to her. It was actually an excuse she had left for me, so that she could just see me **once** again... even if I decided **against** going to the precinct after that. She just wanted to see me, once more if not for '**always**'...

* * *

**What next: -**

**Next will be Martha giving some really good advice to Rick so that he could just realize that Kate is meant for him and just come into terms with what exactly does he want when she has already poured his heart out to him now. Then we'll get to the 'really nice' and 'sweet' parts along with maybe some emotional stuff too in the next chapters. Just stay with me.**

**Okay, I know it's a little sad, and forgive me if I missed any important point. It's just that Castle's attitude this season has been tough to read because from what I know, he simply ignores the things that are right in front of him. As he has also SO many times told Alexis and Beckett to give things 'time' and let the universe sort itself, I guess that time was just what he needed! So tell me how you found it? Do review because this story will soon be coming to an end and with your reviews I can make it a little long by adding things what you want to see. So tell me, did I get the conversation right? And I showed both the secrets, so I hope I did justice to both of them and also the pain they have caused each other since the past 10 months. Just leave a line if not more!****************Those who do not have an account, you can tell me too whether you liked it, so, just click the review button- down, in the middle. Right ;)**

**BTW - ********This chapter was dedicated to all those who left a review! Seriously! Thank you :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Still in love**

_**The characters do not belong to me. Mr Marlowe is the creator here.**_

Kate had left the loft herself but had left one of her greatest possessions behind. I gently moved my fingers through the smooth glittering golden chain and slipped it into my shirt pocket, close to my heart. I went back to the couch and sat there for a while with my eyes closed, sorting my feelings out. It was only 11:30 pm when the door bell rang and I at once got up and opened the door half heartedly. I just wanted to be alone. Suddenly someone came in with a suitcase; pushing me aside and directly throwing them self on the couch without even a hello. It was my mother. Her head was bowed and both her hands were on her forehead. She looked tired and miserable.

'It is nice to see you too mother' I said, reminding her that she could have been a little more happy to see her only son after a week. She was out on a trip to Europe. It was more of a shopping trip; none of her trips were dull and relaxing. It was either a shopping trip or a trip to collect artefacts for her acting studio. The trips were always directly or indirectly related to shopping.

'Aww Richard, I had a very tiring day...the flight was late by 5 hours because of bad weather and I spent the time in the airport 'reading' ' she said, quoting the word 'reading' with her hands.

'Reading?...I guess I can imagine how it can be miserable for you' I said, smiling at her but then again the sad expression was back which attracted mother's attention.

'How was your little date with detective Beckett?' she asked. She must have thought that bringing up Kate would cheer me up but that wasn't the case this time. I just sat there saying nothing. My silence gave mother some hint that things had not gone down well between us. I changed the topic and looking at my watch I said-

'It wasn't a date... Where is Alexis? She should have been home by now...' and I took out my mobile to call her when my mother said-

'She is having a sleepover at her friend's...she told me, she didn't want to interrupt your dat- I mean meeting or whatever it was' mother said, raising an eyebrow. God! I had to tell her, she was not going to let me get away with it tonight.

'It's just that, we had a little argument and I needed time...' I said, after a long pause.

'Little?' mother asked suspiciously.

'Ughh... I confronted her about her secret, I mean secrets...one had given way to another...soo...we had a fight and I told her I'll show up at the precinct tomorrow if I'm ready...' I said, skipping the details. Mother did not even ask for them.

'So she apologized?' she asked, calmly.

'Yes, but that's not the point...the point is that she lied to me!' I said, this time with my voice raised.

'Oh Richard...at least she realized, and her apologizing means that she loves you...what else do you want?' she asked, meeting her pitch with mine.

'I don't know, maybe time...time to decide whether I love her back...' I said, little confused.

'Love her back...what am I missing?...did she tell you that she loved you?' mother asked curiously.

'Yes! She said that she is ready to have a relationship with me and she lied because she wanted to make herself ready to have something permanent with me...' I said. That's when I actually realized the intensity of the situation.

'God Richard... what else do you want her to do now? Everyone has flaws and its okay to hold grudge for a while, but true love is something when you rise above and give your love a chance...you have been working with her for four years now, you should not even question your feelings for her' she said, making me realize that I was acting like a jerk now.

'I know mother, stop quoting me...' I said smiling but then quickly added 'But don't you think I should make her wait like she did to me?'

'I think she made you wait because she was healing but you are making her wait for no absolute reason...' she said, keeping both her feet up, making herself comfortable on the couch.

'So you think I shouldn't lose time and go to the precinct tomorrow?' I asked, though I knew the answer but still I wanted some reassurance.

'You should just kiss that girl while you both are still young...' she said, smiling at me. Yes she was good at advice, well, sometimes.

'I as it is have to go to return this chain to her' I said, taking out the chain from my pocket. My mother very well knew everything about it. I had told her about it when I had started writing Naked Heat. She stared at it for a few seconds and then looked at me; rolled her eyes in frustration and said-

'For a bestselling novelist, you're the silliest man I have ever seen...you are questioning me about her intentions and your feelings when you had the answers right there with you' she said, taking the chain and slipping it back into my shirt pocket.

'You Richard Castle, now owe that girl an apology...' was all she said and I knew what she meant by it. I had told her that I was not sure whether I was still in love with her. She must have been heartbroken. I was going to go tomorrow to the precinct with two cups of coffee in my hands and just tell her how I truly felt. I didn't want to lose her... nor working with her nor our friendship which was now safely replaced by love nor what we can now have together, a future. The main thing which I didn't want to lose actually apart from her was 'time'.

'Richard at least message her and put her out of misery' was all my mother said, before heading towards her room along with two huge bags filled with I don't know what ALL. I did not even want to know.

'Yes mother...and thanks...' I said, smiling at her when she turned. We both did not believe much in the mother son public display of affection but we knew how much we loved each other and that was all that mattered. Not even waiting a second, I messaged her-

**Kate, I am sorry, I just want to say that... I don't want to waste any more time on thinking. What I want now is to stop thinking and start acting on my thoughts. See you at precinct tomorrow? :) - RC**

With that I pressed the send button and waited for her reply, not sure if I would even get one. After 5 minutes a reply came, a message that said-

**Thank god Rick, I cannot wait. See you tomorrow! – Kate **

It was small but I knew that she was relieved. Oh! No smiley, but I hoped she wasn't still heart broken ...Well... it was 'just' a smiley, I consoled myself when another message came that just showed-

**':)'**

Did she read my mind or what! She knew me so well. I went to my bedroom, to get some sleep now. Only a few hours ago we had fought and not more than an hour ago my mother had given me some 'brilliant' advice. I was not ready then but within an hour I had become ready to accept my unconditional love for her, thanks to my mother for bringing down my ego. I guess brilliance ran in our family. We always kept each other grounded. I decided not to think about anything and go off to sleep so that tomorrow came sooner. Tomorrow everything will be the way I had been imagining since 4 years. In less than a minute my eyes closed shut and I was dreaming... dreaming of her.

* * *

_**So to all those who are reading this, do tell me whether you liked it so far or not. Suggestions are welcome, and to those who did leave me a review, I just want to say that this chapter was dedicated to you all, as reviews do help me to proceed. Trust me! And I promise I will update at least every alternate days or at least thrice a week. Just leave a line or just a word if you do not feel like writing long sentences. Thanks :)**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Always**

_**The character don't belong to me, Mr Marlowe is the creator.**_

Castle was going to show up today at the precinct and I was happy that we were now heading forward with our relationship instead of backward. By his message, I was sure that today, we weren't going to go down the elevator separately but together. I reached my desk and sat down with two cups of coffee in my hand. I was constantly tapping my feet and staring at the elevator...I was waiting for him. Ryan and Esposito had sensed my tension but did not irritate me with questions, thankgod! Suddenly the elevator door slid open and I could see him walking towards me. He was wearing a smile on his face today and also a purple shirt, my favourite colour. He walked towards me with two cups of coffee in his hand. He raised both the cups when he saw me staring. It was as if I had got springs in my legs because the moment he approached, I stood up. We both handed each other our respective coffee cups, unable to decide now what to do with _four_ cups of coffee.

'Oh you got coffee?' I asked, unable to decide what to do with _four_ cups now.

'Well... isn't it my duty to fetch you coffee every morning' he said very politely.

'I got too...' I said, smiling at him.

'No problem...' was all he said as he kept a cup on the desk, took a cup from my hand and gave me one of the two cups he had brought. He simply gave the remaining cups- one his and one mine to Ryan and Esposito, winking at them.

'YO! We are not gonna have leftovers!' Esposito said, giving Castle one of his I-am-gonna-kill-you looks.

'Suit yourself...though I know you will not be able to resist it...' Castle said, walking towards me again. Ryan and Espo were already gulping it down their throats and it was over in a few minutes. On the other hand, we had each other's coffee. He actually loved my coffee and I loved his. It was perfect.

* * *

'So can we talk?' he asked, placing the empty cup on the desk.

'Sure...' I said, heading towards the break room, he followed me. Once we were there with the door closed, he just came up too close and said-

'Kate, I am sorry... it was silly of me to ask for time...I just want to say, I have no doubts...my feelings towards you haven't changed a bit' he said, sincerely.

'Rick, what I did was wrong... you shouldn't even apologize, you are always apologizing for things you don't even do...I'm sorry okay?' I said, holding his hand.

'Heyy...I overreacted...and you don't apologize again, please...' was all he said, with a soft voice, making the hold of his hand on mine, tighter.

'No Rick...I was selfish and I shouldn't have-' I started but he cut me off with a kiss. He kissed me tenderly, biting my lips softly. He just embraced me, placing both his hands around my waist. My hands soon clasped his neck and we were kissing just slowly, as if we had all the time in the world. The kisses were not hard, not forced; they were just of the right intensity. Someone cleared his/her throat and that's when we parted at once, trying to look normal, as if nothing at all had happened.

'You too...uh I'm...what just-...I wanted to...' It was Ryan and he was unable to even find words to describe what he had just seen.

'Hey Ryan, what's up?' I said, trying to control my breath.

'Are you two like...together or something?' he asked, but I did not know what we actually were doing now.

'Ryan we are giving dating a shot' Castle said, taking charge of the situation. After a moment of silence Ryan just said-

'Finally...YES! Lanie won the bet...you know, we had a bet about whether you both will get your shit together or not and Lanie was right...though it took four years, but still...at least it happened!' he said, excitedly.

'Hey Ryan please don't go around announcing it now, Gates will not like it' I said. I did not want to know Gate's reaction.

'Don't worry, I got that covered...' was all he said, as we started walking towards the elevator, holding hands. I did not care that I was missing a day of duty. I had a duty towards Castle, and I wanted to attend to him now. I could hear Esposito asking Ryan questions from behind but I just did not care.

'Heyy, why are they walking like that, did they just-?' he asked, and Ryan just nodded.

'Where the hell is Beckett going with that writer?' Gates asked, coming out from her office, but I knew that Ryan and Espo will have a story to feed her. That's what friend's do; they always have each other's back...**always**.

* * *

The moment I reached Castle's loft, I knew that it was going to be an unforgettable night. He just opened the door and the moment I stepped in, he pushed me against the door, closing it with my body and closing my mouth with his lips. He just started kissing me, not even parting for breath. We did not lose touch, even while drawing breath too we constantly kept kissing each other softly. Soon his hands were around the small of my back and my legs were tangled around his waist. He lifted me in the same position and carried me to his couch. His hands were inside my shirt and mine were unbuttoning his shirt.

'Where's-'I asked between kisses and he parted his lips from mine for a second to just utter the word 'Out'. We did not even care to look at the broken glass decoration piece which had been knocked off because of the strong activity happening on the couch. I could not even remember how I got to Rick's room. The heavy kissing has washed away my memory. He pushed me on his bed and as he closed the door he just said- 'It's not a number for me'

It took a while for me to figure out what he was trying to say. He said it again- 'It's not a number for me, it's **THE **number' with that he just started walking towards the bed. He really looked handsome without clothes.

'Just come here and kiss me already' I said, unable to resist. With that he was in no time on top of me, shooting infinite passionate kisses on my lips. I felt a moist touch on my scar and he slowly started nibbling his way up towards my lips again, we both were now sliding our fingers on the bare skin and removing the remaining clothes. My body was reacting to his every touch. I wanted to show him that the page 105 was nothing in front of what we were now heading towards.

It was going to be a long night, our first night of steamy and passionate love making. A night I will remember forever as it involved not a boy anymore but a **man** I love. A night I was going to cherish... '**always**'.

* * *

**So eight chapters of this story, I hope you all liked it? I will now be writing a new story so I wish you all read and review that too. Tell me how you found this chapter and the story as a whole as well. This was my first fanfic, with hopefully more to come, just some encouragement from you all is needed.**

**To those who did leave me a review, I just want to say that I am very grateful to you all, because those reviews were the main reason that made me continue with the story. I will be reading the reviews for this chapter as well as your comment on the story as a whole. Do leave a line if you don't feel like writing more, even a word would do.**

**Thanks again for reading it and for staying with me till the end! :) 3**

**PS - All the favorite author, story and alert subscription messages I got just blew my mind! Thank you to ALL of you! You guys are awesome :) **

**Status: COMPLETE**


End file.
